I am lost…and need to be found. I have felt lost for a few years now, but lately I am really fucking lost. I don’t know what it is…is it my addict son? That the life of living with a drug addict is like a ride that you desperately want to get off, but you can’t. It just keeps going. How much is too much help, when is enabling too much? When will he get it together? Is it my Duchenne son who can’t walk, and who EVERYTHING is hard for. Who just wants to drive, but its utterly a long and ridiculous road that has put us in and out and soon to be back in debt? NOTHING is easy, its all phone calls and crying to get him what he freaking deserves. Is it worry for my grandson who also has Duchenne and the thought of my daughter dealing with it hurts. Is is the fact that my career which I loved doesn’t exist the way it once did which puts my in a position of having to figure out what do to about employment at 53! I don’t know what it is…or is it all of it put together? I am struggling to get back onto the right road. I am trying all the methods that used to work and while it helps for the short term, it doesn’t last. My Nana made me a tough one and usually I just push that shit way down into the dark and move along. But there is so much down there I can’t fit anymore. I am also struggling with fatigue which I am fairly certain has to do with my life…I mean who wouldn’t be freaking tired? If it wasn’t for my husband, not sure where the heck I would be right now…
For the first time I am thinking I need a medication to help me out for the short term. Not sure that’s the right path, but I need something for sure. I wish my counselor took my insurance because she sure helped. Working out is huge, but not filling that void lately. I just want to be back to the Sheryl I used to be. I really liked her! 🙂 Do we as women just go through this every once in a while? Life is so hard sometimes…I know this will pass, but hurry up already! Thanks for the listen…what do you do to get through the hard times? I am grateful for some amazing friends who love me whether I am lost or found. You know who you are! Pray for me…pray for my answer. Thank you…Love Sheryl
My Scarred Heart... 
J I hope you realize what an amazing person you are! I am honestly not worried about your job because I know things are going to work out. Hang in there Babe!!
*From:* My Scarred Heart… [mailto:comment-reply@wordpress.com] *Sent:* Thursday, August 29, 2019 3:25 PM *To:* jmarrazzo@mobiusimaging.com *Subject:* [New post] I’m lost…
myscarredheart66 posted: ” I am lost…and need to be found. I have felt lost for a few years now, but lately I am really fucking lost. I don’t know what it is…is it my addict son? That the life of living with a drug addict is like a ride that you desperately want to get “
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To my Sher, It is so hard not to be able to help you out of the dark place you are in right now. I will not say everything will be all right, but I know the person you are will be able to find the path that will help you. You have been there for me ever since Bernie passed, not much I can help you with but I am always here to listen. Love you with all my heart.
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Thanks Mom! ❤
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I am lost too… trying so hard to get “me” back has been such a uphill journey and I’m still on it. I’m exhausted trying to deal with life, with raising 3 kids alone and trying to help their dad in rehab. Financial nightmares too, his lapse back to the hospital and outpatient treatment leaves another year of no child support. I can’t go a few days without a migraine and each medication has me now feeling even more distant from the old, happy, whatever works me to the new, frustrated, sad, mad, annoyed me that wants to curl in a ball and wake up to everyone and everything being okay… my son is refusing to go to school, failed MCAS and is struggling in his in own depression, will not take anti-depressants or see/talk to a counselor. He has been smoking to alleviate some stress/anxiety which some days I’m at peace with and other days want to scream! Please know you’re not alone and thank you for sharing, and letting me vent some too feels somewhat refreshing to “let go”. Lots of love, prayers and thoughts your way beautiful Sheryl. I think of you often!
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Hey you…sorry for the delay with responding to you! Sounds like you have lots of shit going on as well. Prayers for you…please let me know if there is anything I can do to help! Even a coffee sometime! Lots of Love…
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You are one tough cookie, but don’t keep stuffing the pain and stress. That’ll bite you in the ass, believe me. No shame in medication. I just stopped mine for other reasons, but I know that I need to do something else to keep from snapping. It’s not easy. Hugs.
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Love you lots my Sheryl.
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Love you too my friend! ❤
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❤
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